New year brings new stuff to world's best players

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Happy New Year. Do you know what my favorite thing about the beginning of the year on the PGA TOUR is? Well, it used to be getting all the free stuff over the winter. Your clothing company would send boxes and boxes of clothes. Your equipment company would send the absolute latest driver, irons, putters and wedges just to make sure that you were aware of all the latest developments in golf technology. And not just your own equipment company but others, too, in hopes that you might jump ship to their newest stuff.

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For a PGA TOUR player every day in December is like Christmas. For years I was on a first name basis with the UPS man. Seemingly every day there was a fashion show in the den or an impromptu equipment trial on the driving range. And that wasn't even the best part. As you tried on new shirts and smashed the latest oversized driver on the range, your agent would call -- and are you ready for this? He was calling to tell you how much money the companies that were sending you all the free stuff were willing to pay you to use it.

And should you decide to make an off-season equipment change, your agent was the guy who broke the news to your old company, not you. Your agent is the one who explained that it was a business decision and that you have a family to consider. He'd tell them that the six (or for some players seven-) figure deal that you had with the company the previous year wasn't enough to keep Fruity Pebbles in the kitchen pantry, so you have to make a change.

Still, showing up in Hawaii with a shiny new bag full of shiny new toys wasn't my favorite part. Wearing fashions that wouldn't hit the pro shop until spring didn't even top the list. No, my favorite part was seeing two things in Hawaii. The first was who got skinny over the holidays. These days I am just like you. I put on some holiday tonnage and I am already thinking of a proper rationalization to break that resolution. I made eight this year and four of them have already fallen. That reminds me -- I need to call my mother.

TOUR players are a different breed. They spend so much time eating in restaurants and hotels that keeping weight off is hard. Believe it or not, the best time of year for a player to watch what he eats and visit his trainer regularly is in November and December while the rest of us are indulging. In case you missed it, John Rollins did a complete body overhaul last winter. He came back looking like a linebacker ready to suit up. He admitted that as good as he felt about himself it took him a while to find the rhythm of his golf swing because there were fewer moving parts. Or maybe there was just less of him.

Remember when Craig Stadler got skinny in the 1990s? No, really, look it up. He nearly lost his game completely. Fortunately for the "Walrus," salvation was only a buffet away. A few binges and he was right back on form and winning golf tournaments. Some people just weren't meant to be svelte. At least that is my story and I am sticking to it.

Phil Mickelson managed to maintain his weight for most of 2008. Previously Phil had dabbled with skinny but always rounded out by the PGA Championship. In '08, he kept it off. Of course that could just be an illusion -- after all he is an inch and a half taller now than he was a few years ago.

That is actually my favorite skinny story ever. Phil stretched so much during his workouts last year that felt taller and actually adjusted the length of his putter to compensate. It worked, too, and he managed to maintain his physique all year in spite of the copious free buffets for breakfast and lunch at every stop on TOUR

So the boys will be in Hawaii for the next couple of weeks. It is tough duty if you can get it. And although the TOUR's collective body type has trimmed over the last decade there are still a few guys who look like the rest of us out there and I think that the TOUR is better for it. Or are there? A couple of months is a long time and a man can lose a large portion of himself if he is dedicated and vigilant. Not that Tim (Lumpy) Herron had enough time he could now borrow clothes from Ian Poulter, but there may be less or more of both of them this January. What if they met in the middle somewhere?

Body shapes will be different; they always are in January on the PGA TOUR. I am really looking forward to seeing if the rumors are true. I heard that Fred Funk hired Phil's trainer this off-season and was spotted not only dunking a basketball but hitting 380 yard drives at the back of the range in Ponte Vedra.