If you can stand the noise, the 16th is pretty darned fun

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Fun in the Valley of the Sun: Phoenix turns out to have a good time every February at the FBR Open.

A few years ago, Elton John had a worldwide concert tour that was entitled "Just as Loud as Concorde, but Not Quite as Pretty." It was pretty dang loud, too. A lot of people left those shows with ringing in their ears and said "Huh?" many times during the next day.

But Sir Elton has nothing on the rock show they put on at the 16th hole at the TPC Scottsdale, site of this week's FBR Open. The crowd is loud and raucous, totally un-golf-like in nature. It's a rare chance for a golf gallery to go a little crazy.

"It's a one-time-a-year deal and I enjoy it so much," Anthony Kim said this week. "This is as close as we get to being at Staples Center or inside a football dome."

It promises to be even crazier this week. The 16th hole has been completely enclosed by seats, thanks to a new 3,000-seat addition. The 162-yard par-3 now has capacity for as many as 20,000 fans. This could get really nutty.

"There's only one place on earth, one hole on earth like that," Camilo Villegas said. "I know there's a lot of alcohol being served there. You're going to get people yelling great stuff and then people yelling some stuff that is maybe not appropriate."

Inappropriate comments that are alcohol-related? Nah. It'll never happen.

The comments are inappropriate only to those with extremely thin skin or those who object to being taunted for their inaccurate shot, lack of hair, poor choice of college, or inadequate physical training.

There are people in the crowd who work on their zingers all year to get one opportunity to use them. It's like the student section from a Duke basketball game amped up on cases of Red Bull, but without as many khaki pants.

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This place may be the loudest place on earth the next four days. It's even going to be louder than:

• A Miley Cyrus concert when she puts on that Hannah Montana wig.
• A competition between rival jackhammer operators.
• Rachael Ray.
• A tent full of golf writers complaining about the bad food and bad parking.

For the most part the golfers don't mind the scene in Phoenix. They play along and most have fun with it. Those who refuse to join the fun are in danger of mysteriously disappearing. It is believed that some have been eaten.

"Everyone keeps saying it's the loudest hole in golf and everyone is crazy, so everyone continues to do more every year to make it as loud an obnoxious as possible," said Pat Perez. "I really don't mind."

Most of the players who don't enjoy the atmosphere will just avoid the trouble, cite the need to spend time with the family, and stay away. Those on the fence will put on a happy face and pretend to have fun. And the ones who embrace the spotlight and relish the idea of a klieg-light experience will have the time of their lives, even if they do get razzed.

"I have been booed," Kim said. "What was crazy was I hit a good golf shot. I just told them to keep it coming, because it was hilarious."

The only setting in golf that really comes close to Phoenix is the 17th hole at TPC Sawgrass. The gallery may be similar is size, but fans in Florida can't logistically surround the entire hole. Until now.

A top-secret memo from Washington was intercepted from a courier last week. The missive contained a copy of the new economic stimulus plan that the Obama Administration had leaked to "Highlights for Children."

One of the proposals is for the development of floating skyboxes in the lake at the 17th hole at TPC Sawgrass. It would be a great use of federal funds and everyone knows how such a development was always favored by two of the Founding Fathers: Beman and Dye.

Stan Awtrey is a freelance columnist for PGATOUR.COM. His views do not necessarily reflect the views of the PGA TOUR.