
Welcome back, Tiger.
It's been a while. Let's see. Torrey Pines, wasn't it?
It was another one of those major jaw droppers if we recall -- lots of improbable putts and chips finding the bottom of the cup. It was a highlight reel of high-fives, fist-pumps and, well, there was that limp.
So, Tiger, you're all better now, right?

Wish we could say the same about the economy. And golf.
When you took off, the Dow had just taken the biggest monthly drop -- at that point -- since the Depression. All way to 11,843.
Bank of America stock was struggling but still trading at around $30. Bernie Madoff was everyone's friend.
And the $1 billion that had everyone talking was the career earnings mark you were on target to reach sometime in 2010.
By the way, Tiger, how are the kids?
Since you had that knee repaired and went on the DL, the country has stopped talking in billions, and Capitol Hill is thinking trillions. The Dow is headed into 7,000 territory and BAC has settled around $5 a share. Just the mention of more bailouts, buyouts, layoffs or a glance at the just-signed stimulus plan produces a daily headache. Or situational depression.
But you know all that. You haven't spent all your time watching cartoons with Sam and rehabbing that bionic knee. You read. You manage ETW Corp.
It might not be 45 percent, like the market, but you got hit too. All of which brings us to the game of golf. And, well, you.
We hate to say it, but you're golf's stimulus package, and your first step back on the golf course will be scrutinized a much more closely than some recent Cabinet nominees.
You can take it. Heck, if you can do what you did at Torrey Pines on one leg -- let alone what you've done the past decade -- you can handle this.
No pressure. The trillion dollar stimulus isn't going to be enough to pull the economy out of this hole, and you can't carry golf on your back. But, honestly, we like your chances to jump start the 2009 season a lot more than the chances of those 1,100 pages hardly anyone member of Congress reads.
Golf has missed you. Seriously. It hasn't been the same in the press room. Or in the locker room. Or on the course.
As grandma would have said, you're a sight for sore eyes. Not to mention a blessing for tournament organizers. And title sponsors. And charities. And TV networks. And. ... You get the drift.
You drive traffic to Web sites and telecasts and put people on the course -- people who don't know golf, tune in on the weekend to see what you'll do next. And you drive Phil too.
But it's you who really makes the difference. Commit to a basic PGA TOUR event Friday afternoon, and it's worth a minimum $250,000 in walk-up ticket sales. The title sponsor? They might see a ten-fold bump in ratings and exposure. That, by the way, also translates into charitable donations down the line.
And ratings? Non-major events where you're in contention see a 58 percent bump in viewer numbers. Barack Obama, rock-star numbers.
To the casual fan, you're what Indiana Jones or Jason Bourne is to the widescreen. People want to lose themselves and watch the best in the world entertain them.
They want to escape from the pink slips, tight budgets and foreclosures. They want to forget -- for a few minutes -- that the Dow just dropped another 300 points or that Obama just used that term "downward spiral" one more time. They want to smile and dream about making that same putt for a Claret Jug or a green jacket. They want to kick back with their friends and remember all the amazing moments to this point in your career.
Nice move, too, asking whether the President wanted to play golf sometime. Maybe you could get Warren Buffett and Joe Ogilvie to join you. He needs all the fiscal help he can get.
In case you're wondering, you've got them talking in the locker room, too. They're happy you're back. Honest. Well, most of them. I'm sure someone's not, but they know what you mean to the TOUR and their own bottom line. They've watched the purses skyrocket exponentially since you said "Hello, World." Today, even last place is a no-stimulus-check-for-you week's pay.
And don't get all "aw-shucks" on us, but they want the opportunity to go head-to-head with you. They know you bring it whether it's an A or a C, and they can see what they're made of. Well, again, most of them.
America is clipping coupons and buying on sale. The independent contractors on the PGA TOUR are slowly realizing they could try to have a little more Arnold Palmer or you in them these days. Players are losing clothing and club deals. Some are negotiating their own sponsor deals. There are no more free rides, and the corporate world knows more cutbacks are coming. Courtesy cars are still a perk. For now.
Even you've seen it. You and Buick parted ways, which was big news last fall. Now it's a microdot in what has become General Motors' abyss.
Times are tough, but you know how to deal with tough. You smiled -- and, yeah, you winced -- through the pain at Torrey last year, but you did it. Your peers marvel at your focus and discipline and power and touch out here. They ought to pay equal attention to how you handle yourself in hard times, too.
Speaking of that, it's been quiet out here. No sizzle. Tournaments are downsizing and cutting back where they can. They're getting fresh-faced winners and good finishes. But there are less corporate dollars. Just ask some of the people trying to rent their houses in Augusta.
What's missing? No name popping on the leaderboards to make the field look over its collective shoulder and get spectators buzzing.
Padraig Harrington and Greg Norman picked up some of the slack at Birkdale and put on one hell of a windblown show. Then Paddy whipped Sergio Garcia at the PGA Championship. Come April, he could win his third major in a row and be three quarters of the way to a Slam. But no one's buzzing about it.
Paul Azinger and the Ryder Cup boys pulled off an exciting win in Louisville last fall, but something was missing.
You.
And this year? Geoff Ogilvy won the first tournament of the year, but since then ... Sergio hasn't played in the U.S. yet, Anthony Kim has been mostly overseas. Vijay Singh has missed four weeks after knee surgery. And Phil? He's still looking for his game.
By the way, we saw the photos. Beautiful family -- including Taz and Yogi. Great smiles. Love the picture with Sam and Charlie. And Sam? She looks like she has her dad's devilish streak.
But the pictures were just a quick respite from the headlines speculating when you'd return and those great expectations. Everyone was guessing or asking Stevie Williams or John Cook or Mark O'Meara what they knew. It always seemed so close, yet so far away.
Now, it's here.
We figure you'll pick up where you left off at Torrey -- chasing Jack's record. We'd ask what you're thinking, but we already know.
We've seen you come back from knee surgery and win the first tournament out. It led to another of your headshaking seasons. No, we won't be surprised to see it happen again.
It'll be nice to see those out-of-your-shoes power swings. Those improbable shots and impossible putts. The fist pumps. And our all-time favorite, the walk-and-point-the-ball-into-the-hole. That one's way cool.
Everyone will be wanting to shake your hand and snap a picture. Tournaments not on the annual swing will be lining up and hoping to become a wild-card pick in your schedule. You won't be able to take a step out of the locker room without a network chronicling your every move.
The spikes in ticket sales and viewership will translate into not necessarily big, but rather much-needed bucks -- an infusion not only of capital from the corporate side, but also your presence and your passion. And a little kick in the locker room's collective rear end.
Yes, a stimulus.
Only you don't have to do anything special. Just being here will be enough.
And by the way, there won't be a vote. It's playground rules in sports.
Tag, you're it.