Captains will mix fun, competition next week

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Expect a few laughs as Fred Couples leads the American team at Harding Park.

You like a little glitz and glam with your Fosters?

Or a little Presidential presence during a heated ping pong match?

Related links

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Blog: Captain Couples
Wild day in Washington
Meet the U.S. squad
Meet the Internationals

Or sidelines worthy of a visit from your basic Hollywood paparazzi?

Get ready. Next week anything goes.

There's one simple rule of thumb for next week's Presidents Cup. Expect the unexpected. And be prepared to laugh. A lot.

It's less than a week until Captains Type Zzzzz and Type A step into the spotlight at Harding Park and turn the best little laidback event this side of the buttoned-up Ryder Cup into one entertaining week.

Zzzz -- better known as U.S. captain Fred Couples -- rolls with everyone's punches. He takes life as it comes, can't pass up a comfy couch and a great football game and never ceases to amaze us with his entertaining stream-of-consciousness, rambling run-on sentences.

And Type A? International captain Greg Norman owns spotlights. And board rooms. One minute he's brief and to the point; the next he's grinning and telling yet another story. Some of which you can't repeat.

Jack Nicklaus and Gary Player were so polite to each other for the past three Cups. A little grief here, a little there. But always nicer than nice. Always ambassadors of the game. Always, well, a little presidential.

And now? Well, the new captains will be presidential, but with an edge. Think take no prisoners -- with a few chuckles. And that's just from the dais during press conferences.

These gracefully aging rock stars of the gentlemen's game love to have fun. With their teams. With each other. With, well, anyone who can take it can dish it right back. Even Presidents.

Any bets on who strikes first?

These guys have been reeling us in for decades and there's no reason to stop now. Think Norman at the 2008 British Open. Or Couples at the 2003 Shell Houston Open or this year's Northern Trust Open.

Heck, they've already had us buzzing for months.

Couples makes Michael Jordan one of his assistant captains because, well, he's always wanted to do that. Plus, the guy does know a few things about how to win. He pulls in good buddy Jay Haas, too, for a real second set of eyes. No telling what other boldface names -- from the sports world or other places -- might drop in for a visit.

Norman goes rogue with his Captain's Picks and takes a Japanese teenager (Ryo Ishikawa) and a heartthrob who's having trouble putting and making a cut (Adam Scott). Don't second-guess him. He knows what he's doing. He also names colorful, entertaining and outspoken television analyst Frank Nobilo, who happens to have pirates in his family tree, his assistant. Then, of course, he has his own superstar wife Chrissie Evert to counter the Jordan wow/mental-edge factor.

Together, Norman and Couples turned heads when they visited the Oval Office for a few private minutes with Barack Obama and gave Vice President Joe Biden a putting lesson on the White House lawn. Who cares if Nancy Pelosi is in the West Wing? Couples' salt-with-a-little-pepper hair and Norman's piercing blue eyes trump Madame Speaker hands down.

And those were just the appetizers.

Just think how much fun it will be watching Norman's merry band of characters. They're out-world-ranked by the U.S., but so what? You have Camilo Villegas doing his Spider-Man thing on the greens, Ishikawa bombing it down there with the big boys and Cabrera's body language and facial expressions.

Want to see Y.E. Yang face Tiger in singles? We feel ya. And we think Norman and Couples might do their best to make it happen.

After all, it's not a reach. How good was that singles match people wanted between Tiger and Mike Weir two years ago in Weir's native Canada? And since when could they pass up needling Tiger?

As for pairings, don't expect to see Couples pair golf's two superstars. He knows better. He's been there, played in a none-too-comfy pairing or two. He'll listen to Tiger and Phil -- and everyone else for that matter.

You'll see players grinding, but having fun while they do.

Heck, Couples had a blast when he pretty much took the Presidents Cup to the big time. For the first few years, all he did was make incredible exclamation-point shots that turned a start-up event into must-see every other year. You don't think his enthusiasm will rub off on the team?

And Norman? Who wouldn't want to play for someone that rakishly resilient? Count the shots to his heart at majors and count the bounce-backs. And if making a run at the Open Championship at Birkdale at 53 didn't tell you something . . . well, his players know.

Wondering who'll be this Cup's Woody Austin? Don't totally go there. He's irreplaceable. No one else could do splashes, goggles and self-deprecation like Woody. But comic relief? We could see Stewart Cink or Anthony Kim or Geoff Ogilvy or Ishikawa having fun with something a little off beat. Ditto for the captains. And, of course, once it happens everyone will pile on.

But back to the Norman and Couples. They're as different as day and night, but honestly, are there two better guys to kick back with anywhere, anytime? They talk sports and business and life. They take life seriously, but themselves? Not always so much.

The Presidents Cup -- and the Ryder Cup for that matter -- has always had it's share of glam inside the ropes. But Norman and Couples could take that to a new level. What self-respecting celebrity golfer wouldn't want to hang out with their teams? No need to mention that Clinton and Norman are buddies and President Bush 41 never passes up a chance to visit with Couples and Norman.

Oh, but these two will shake something more than the A-list up. Bet on it. One or the other will give us a really-now moment. Maybe both at the same time. They'll plot and plan, they'll inspire -- just in different ways than Gary and Jack did for the past six years.

Putting strokes notwithstanding, you have to figure the real edge in this Cup may come from how they handle things inside their team rooms. Jack and Gary were there, sure. But for these 2009 captains, those rooms are their comfort zones.

It's where the guys and their wives or girlfriends can be themselves. What happens in there, stays in there. Well, mostly. But, trust us, updates on the U.S. ping pong wars usually do leak out.

It's the place where they can crank up the tunes and lift a few beers or a glass of wine. Where they can hang out and tell stories with Jordan or a President who happens to drop by.

Where, for a while every night, these captains can forget about making pairings or inspirational speeches and just make a difference by -- for a few hours -- being one of the guys.

Anyone for a Fosters?